Agreeing or pleasing?

Recently in class, we had a discussion where one option was obviously superior. It was clearer, better structured, and more relevant. Most people agreed immediately, but I noticed something unsettling: almost no one tried to look at the other side. Even though the alternative view had its own merits, it was unappreciated.

It made me wonder: Were we actually agreeing, or were we just "pleasing"?

We are often told that having a benefactor (a boss, professor, or mentor), is the key to success. Because of this, many people think it is paramount to agree with everything that person says just to stay on their good side.

This is where it gets dangerous. The line between agreeing and pleasing starts to blur. We agree when we truly share the same opinion. We please when we are simply seeking approval. If we agree all the time, we are just pleasing. When that happens, how do we identify our blind spots? How do we see the actual value in a different perspective?

It is easy to take the moral high ground and dismiss an opinion because it doesn’t seem "right" at first. But the moment we stop considering alternative views, we stop growing. Without a diversity of thought, we miss out on perspectives that could actually help us.

Instead of just nodding along to please others, we should make an effort to offer alternative views. Even if you don't fully agree with the "other side," try to find its value and bring it into the discussion.

The next time you are in a meeting or a classroom where everyone is in immediate agreement, pause and ask: "What is one merit of the alternative?" By intentionally looking for the benefit in the other side, you contribute more effectively to the conversation. We all stand to learn more when we move past pleasing and start truly thinking together.